Parents in nurturing Children

Parents in nurturing Children

The children are dependent upon the family, friends, teachers, and society to learn good or bad things. They are innocent. The primary duty of parents is to look after and inculcate good values and make them successful. 

"In childhood whatever we learn, that make our characters for which we are be known in the society. It's very difficult to change habits. Therefore the children require more focus of parents to move in right direction". 

During the times of lockdown, the schools were closed and most of the time of children spent with the parents because the parents were also not going to their duties in the offices / shops / businesses. The nature forced parents to spare quality time for the children, and most of the parents learned how to involve the children in various creative activities without giving them school books to learn. Earlier, when there was no lockdown, it was not possible to devote more time for the children.

The word antakshari and the blocks game were used to improve the creativity of the children. 

Whenever a child grows he usually does work as per his choice and the work which is hard in nature, is performed either by the parents or the work not done. The nature of a child for not taking the hard work done by himself; creates laziness and that laziness performs great role in his life. He starts fear of doing hard work and due to undue favour of parents, such laziness increases. How to reduce laziness, that becomes a challenge? The parents hope from child to be succeed but at the same time, the ways for self-growth are also not provided. What are the solutions and how parents and mentors can work to make a lazy person work to grow professionally?

Inspiring to do instead of wrong work:

The children should be inspired to do their work themselves even if they are doing wrong work. In case, they are not inspired, they will start getting their work done from the parents or friends and such habit will make them dependent. Therefore, it is must neither to do their work nor make them get their work done from the friends instead of this, inspire them to get their work themselves. In case, their start weeping or it becomes hard to make them work themselves, it is must to inspire and motivate. For this purpose, they may be offered any monetary or non-monetary reward but be careful, they should not be made habitual of taking such rewards for each work.

Reduce and remove the Fear of failure:

Most of the children even after being grown, feel fear of failure. It is usual and the fear of failure can be settled only with practising the work again and again. It is well popular proverb, “Practice makes a man perfect” and it should be adopted to deal fear of failure. The fear of failure also creates negativity and due to such negativity sometimes chances of being failure increased to a great extent. The practice of doing a work again and again develops the confidence and the fear of failure and negativity both are settled. It is the duty of parents to provide them opportunity and enough time to practice the things, the children are fear of.

Developing positive attitude:

It is must to encourage children whenever they are confident of doing things right. It will develop their positive attitude and they will perform the things with passion. Never doubt upon them and make them fear of doing anything you think they cannot. However, at the same time it is must to supervise their activities but not by restricting them to act positively. In case, any work is performed in undesirable manner, it is must to handle them with care because children are less habitual to listen. In such cases, it is must to tell them stories to inspire for doing right things in right manner.

Inculcate habit of doing hard work:

The children should be provided hard work to do. In starting, it is must to develop the habit to perform the tasks and self-learning from each task. They should be trained to learn from the things by inspiring and motivating them. Thereafter, the work should be increased and start giving more motivational support so that they become confident of doing hard work to get everything at their own. It will also develop their positive attitude towards getting the things done through hard work instead of exploring shortcut methods of doing the things.

एक छोटी सी कहानी

कभी किसी पंछी को देखा है? जब उसे अंडे देने होते है तो वो सर्वप्रथम एक स्थान खोजता है। एक स्थान जो वर्षा, धूप, शत्रुओं से सुरक्षित हो फिर वो अपना घोंसला बनाता है फिर अंडे देता है और फिर जब उन अण्डों से नन्हीं संतानें निकल आती है तो उन्हें भोजन देता है, उनकी सुरक्षा करता है परन्तु जब उनके पंख निकल आये तो ना उन्हें भोजन देती है ना ही उन्हें घोंसला बनाना सिखाती है।

केवल एक ही कला सिखाती है बस फिर वो नन्हीं संतानें उड़ने की कला सीख कर अपना भोजन लाना सीख जाते है स्वयं घोंसला बनाना सीख जाते है और हम मनुष्य क्या करते है?
संतान के बड़े होने के पश्चात भी उनकी चिंता में सूखते है, प्रयास करते है कि उनके लिए घर बना सके। संतान को और भी शक्तिशाली बनाने के स्थान पर पंगु कर जाते है।

जीवन में वही कीजिये जो एक पंछी करता है अपनी संतान को उड़ने की कला सिखाइये, संस्कार दीजिये और एक समय के पश्चात उसे स्वयं अपना आकाश चुनने को मुक्त कर दीजिये।  

A small story

Ever seen a bird? When she has to lay eggs, she firstly finds a place that is protected from rain, sun, enemies; then builds its nest, then lays eggs and then feeds them. After few time, when the babies come out of those eggs, she trains them to fly. Thereafter, their wings come out and the bird mother stops to feed them and  not teaches them to make their own nest.

Only one art is taught that the art of flying and make them learn to bring their own food, they themselves learn to nest.  What do we humans do?

Even after the children grow up, we worry to build a house for them. Instead of making the children more powerful, we feed forever.

Shouldn't we do the same in life as a bird, teach our children the art of flying, give moral values and art of facing challenges of life, after a time, let the children be free to choose their own sky.

Never demoralize the children:

The children sometimes demand higher rewards for doing work and sometimes become lazy in performing their duties. The parents should never demoralize the children by stating the examples of other children doing work at time. The parents should never appreciate others to make children feel guilty. Then what to do when a child is not doing work in desired manner? Here counselling work better than making them demoralized. Ask the children why they are not doing work and try to know their problem first. They may hesitate to state the problem and even sometimes unable to express their problems; in such case it is must to observe their problems and come with a solution to the problems. Demoralizing children and appreciating others to make them feel guilt; leads to creation of negative attitude and they start thinking negatively with a doubt upon their abilities. This hinders their professional growth.

Reduce their hesitation by developing social skills:

The children are usually remained stuck in doing school work and then home work; thereafter sleep to wake up early morning. Such schedule never provides them opportunity to learn the social skills. In holidays, it is the duty of parents to guide the children and inculcate social values to express their thoughts, speak confidently, to reduce their hesitation in speaking and expressing their problems. Either company them by becoming child with them or make them have a company of good friends to grow. Always be attentive that they should not have company of bad children and it they have, either try to break such company or try to inculcate values in such bad friends so that your child not affected from them.

Inculcating leadership and team building habits:

The children at the time of their play or game activities should be instructed to frame teams while doing the tasks of play. It is must to supervise and instruct them at least once a week so that they got opportunity to copy you in doing their activities. Never force them to stay separate in performing their play or game activities indeed inspire them to build teams and they do the desired tasks. It will make them either to lead others or cooperate others to get success. Both habits will inculcate leadership and team building skills. The children may also be provided some work to perform and give them a target for getting the desired reward.

Group activities to reduce hesitation of public speaking:

The children should play in groups by making a monitor or leader. Further, they should also be provided opportunity to address in the group and speak confidently in each role they are playing. The group activities reduce the hesitation and their fear of speaking confidently also removed to a great extent. Instruct children to maintain eyes contact at the time of speaking or discussing with them. In case, any child is not making the eyes contact, then he requires more attention and it is must to give more activities to him for reducing his hesitation.

Fix time of using mobiles, computers and other gadgets:

The children are being addicted of using electronic things and it also affect their health very adversely. The parents should fix the time of using such electronic things and supervise that they are using it for good purposes and not getting bad company through using such means of communication. The Facebook friends, the ideas shared on electronic devices also affect significantly in changing the thought process of children, therefore, it is must to ensure that the children are not being addicted of such electronic things.

True Fact:

खुद में झाकने के लिए जिगर चाहिए जनाब, दूसरों में बुराई बताने में तो हर शख्स माहिर होता है..

It's very easy to find faults in others, the real strength is to identify bad evils in self and leave the vices. 

A small story on morality in Children:

This is about an incident, a car came in the market and in the car, a lady Seema asked her daughter Ravina to go outside and purchase vegetables. Ravina went outside to a shop  and asked to give vegetables. After taking vegetables, she asked price. The shopkeeper Ramesh told to give Rs. 40. Ravina threw a note of Rs. 100 and come back in the car. 

After sitting in the car when the car started to move, suddenly a small girl Manisha knocked the mirror of the car. Manisha handed over Rs. 60 and politely told that it was remaining out of the amount of Rs. 100 paid for buying vegetables. Seema sitting inside the car told Manisha to keep the money and no need to pay back. But Manisha politely replied that the Rs. 60 are remaining and it belongs to Ravina who paid Rs. 100 instead of Rs. 40. 

Manisha with folded hands, returned to shop of her father. Seema impressed from the behavior of Manisha and went to the shop of Ramesh, who was selling vegetables. After looking at Seema, Ramesh feared and asked his daughter Manisha whether she returned the money Rs. 60 with respect or not. Manisha said, "Papa Ji, I know and remember the moral values you put in me that never insult others, always talk with respect and respect elders. Papa Ji, now I have to go to school for study, I will come back in afternoon, kindly allow me."

Seema was feeling ashamed on the behavior of Ravina after looking at the polite behavior and moral values of Manisha. 

The moral of this incident is that the parents should inculcate moral values instead of giving freedom to their children. Make children respect humanity, brotherhood, civilization, good conduct, sweetness in speech etc.

*Copyright © 2020 Rashmi. All rights reserved. 

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